Ken Himmler.com

Caring for your aging parents is something you hope you can handle when the time comes, but it's the last thing you want to think about. Whether the time is now or somewhere down the road, there are steps that you can take to make your life (and theirs) a little easier. Some people live their entire lives with little or no assistance from family and friends, but today Americans are living longer than ever before. It's always better to be prepared.

Mom? Dad? We need to talk

The first step you need to take is talking to your parents. Find out what their needs and wishes are. In some cases, however, they may be unwilling or unable to talk about their future. This can happen for a number of reasons, including:

•Incapacity
•Fear of becoming dependent
•Resentment toward you for interfering
•Reluctance to burden you with their problems 

If such is the case with your parents, you may need to do as much planning as you can without them. If their safety or health is in danger, however, you may need to step in as caregiver. The bottom line is that you need to have a plan. If you're nervous about talking to your parents, make a list of topics that you need to discuss. That way, you'll be less likely to forget anything. Here are some things that you may need to talk about:

•Long-term care insurance: Do they have it? If not, should they buy it?
•Living arrangements: Can they still live alone, or is it time to explore other options?
•Medical care decisions: What are their wishes, and who will carry them out? •Financial planning: How can you protect their assets?
•Estate planning: Do they have all of the necessary documents (e.g., wills, trusts)? •Expectations: What do you expect from your parents, and what do they expect from you? Preparing a personal data record

Once you've opened the lines of communication, your next step is to prepare a personal data record. This document lists information that you might need in case your parents become incapacitated or die. Here's some information that should be included:
 

•Financial information: Bank accounts, investment accounts, real estate holdings
•Legal information: Wills, durable power of attorneys, health-care directives
•Funeral and burial plans: Prepayment information, final wishes
•Medical information: Health-care providers, medication, medical history
•Insurance information: Policy numbers, company names
•Advisor information: Names and phone numbers of any professional service providers •Location of other important records: Keys to safe-deposit boxes, real estate deeds 

Be sure to write down the location of documents and any relevant account numbers. It's a good idea to make copies of all of the documents you've gathered and keep them in a safe place. This is especially important if you live far away, because you'll want the information readily available in the event of an emergency.
 

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